The last few weeks I haven’t felt very motivated. I haven’t been feeling terrible or anything but I just haven’t felt like creating things. Before my move back to the UK, I had to save my energy for all that was involved in the transition, but I promised myself that I’d make a fresh start with my self-care routines and my coaching business as soon as I was settled.
Well I’m settled enough now but the drive to make a fresh start is distinctly lacking. I’ve got back into the basics of my self-care easily enough because I know how much they benefit me. But even though I know that with a great routine I can be far more effective and have far more to put into helping people, I just can’t seem to find the impulse.
Fortunately, a friend suggested I blog about it (so here I am). Initially my inertia resisted with the thought that I’ve written about this before…. several times in fact. Then, I suddenly remembered that this seems to happen every year at this time. It’s almost as though, as the tree’s conserve the energy it takes to keep the leaves alive and begin to let them go, I need conserve the energy it would take to be creative and dynamic.
In fact, if I think about it, in the past when my condition was worse, this time of year my health would really take a hit. Autumn season change seems to take a lot of energy to adjust to and when I had so little to spare, I nearly always crashed. So really, I can feel grateful that now I can get by just by giving up my creativity and motivation for a while.
One of the things that can make this harder, is to resist what’s going on. That nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that I’m not going to get anywhere without putting a bit of effort in. In the past it’s been telling me I won’t get any better if I don’t do my self-care. This time round it’s been focusing on my falling finances and my desire to help more people, nagging me to take more action.
I’m getting a bit of an old hand at this now though, so I’ve been finding it easy to let go of that nagging resistance and just go with the flow. I’ve been happy to accept that this is just how I’m feeling right now. I’ve actually felt quite content and peaceful with my diminished productivity and extra restfulness. I’ve been able to trust that this is just a phase and that my motivation will rebirth itself in its own time. I wonder if the trees feel this content and peaceful about losing their leaves, when they can trust in nature’s cycles and the regrowth of spring?
‘Accept what is, go with the flow and trust’ is my message for today. Autumn may bring extra challenges to those of us with limited energy, but nature also has it’s hints for how to deal with it all.
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You are in very good company and it will be an interesting experiment to see if my move to Spring/ Summer for 6 weeks has an impact.
You are totally right to just it accept it all. Its here anyway!
Enjoy the southern hemisphere Lorraine, I hope it brings you a boost of energy!
This happens to me every fall. I wonder why it does? So I need to just accept it and not fight it. You’re so wise, Julie!
Hi Kathy, I guess it’s because chronic illness means we’re a lot more sensitive to things that can drain our energy. Energetically the transition for summer to fall it quite a big one and it takes it out of us to adjust I think. Take it easy! Julie x
I think you have the right idea – no use fighting it. Nature, and that includes our bodies, knows what it needs. There is much to enjoy in being less busy too.
Absolutely, enjoying being less busy is a different way of being from pre-illness hecticness, but it can be a very rich experience with practise!
This article was so helpful to me, I have been trying to figure out why after a more energy filled summer, I have suddenly dipped and seem to have no energy reserves at all. After reading this I realise it’s the change of season and when I went back and looked at my pacing journal from last year, the exact same thing happened. Thank you so much for putting the puzzle together for me.
You’re welcome Michele, It can be so empowering to have those aha moments. I hope it will be easier for you to relax and let go a bit more now. Take care! Julie