This letter is for you, whether you’re a healthy person struggling with lock-down at the moment or a spoonie feeling fed up with chronic illness…..
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling fed up and unmotivated right now. But know this, what ever you are feeling right now is OK. It’s a totally understandable reaction to your experience. You get to feel what you feel, nobody else has the right to say otherwise.
Life has changed and you are missing out on things. When we lose things, we need to give ourselves time to grieve them. Even if someday we might get them back, it’s OK to be sad about what we’re missing. Maybe you’ve already grieved and think it’s time to move on, but there is no time limit on grief, it takes the time it takes. Or maybe you’ve already moved on but the grief has come back. That’s normal too, grief often comes in waves, all I can say is that if you accept your feelings and let them flow, the later waves of grief are softer and flow more quickly away.
Accepting yourself for how you feel is the key. Allow yourself to be exactly where you are right now, don’t resist it. Offer yourself compassion for how this feeling sucks and I promise it will change. All feeling is a passing impermanent thing, but we can make it feel more solid by resisting it and stopping its flow. Please, just let yourself be.
You may see other people seeming to cope better with what appears to be a similar challenge, people who seem motivated and just get on with things. Don’t compare yourself to others, we all see the world in different ways, we all experience loss in different ways. Some of the more dynamic responders may be residing in the stages of denial or anger, some may have such prolific experience of grief that they are skilled at letting it flow quickly. It doesn’t matter where anyone else is. You have your right to your process and however long it takes.
Whatever is causing you to feel fed up, it’s OK. When I fully embrace my low moments, offer myself compassion for them, I know I can trust them to pass. And they always do. Trying to force myself into activity or positivity never works as well as just allowing myself to be.
So choose to trust: trust that it’s Ok to just be with your feelings; trust that’s it’s OK to be fed up in this moment; trust that all feeling is impermanent; trust that it will flow faster as you let go of all resistance; trust your process will lead to you finding your spark again. I know that you will.
And know that you are not alone. Everyone has experienced being fed up at one time or another and there are probably thousands, if not millions of people around the world who are feeling fed up right at this moment. You are all lovable just the way you are. You do not have to be productive right now to be worthy.
I send you my love, and my wishes that you can find it within you to love yourself too, unconditionally, with your whole heart, no matter how your feeling!
Could I ask a favour? Could you rate this article using the stars below the related posts? I’d be really grateful, thanks!